Update- My Health, My life, My testimony

Part of me as I am starting to write this blog post is wondering if it is a good idea... but this morning as I was reading the Book of Mormon I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to. So here I am, writing it out of faith, and desperately praying that it will convey the message that I want it to.

First off, I just want to say thank you!! I have felt such an incredible amount of love and support from you all since coming back from my mission 3 months ago and it means the world to me. Having to leave my mission was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I don't think I could have made it through it without your love and prayers. They have been felt and very much appreciated.

Now I just want to say that I'm sorry. When I left I said I'd return as soon as possible and promised to keep everyone updated in the meantime but I feel like I've let y'all down.

So here it is! An update on my health, life, and testimony :)

The truth is, that the reason I am home is because I struggle with an eating disorder. And I admit that this is something that is really hard for me to talk about because it is really personal and can make people feel uncomfortable. It's also really hard for me to keep secrets and not be completely open with everyone and so it has been easier for me to just not say anything. But I absolutely loved my mission and the people that I got to serve around and I don't want to feel like I need to avoid it anymore because I don't know what to say.

My Eating Disorder:
I have had an eating disorder since I was about 13. Through middle school and high school I did some counseling and was able to find some great ways to cope with it. I considered  myself 'recovered' by  the time I graduated high school and it didn't play a big role in my life after that. And because of that, I was able to serve a mission. The Church is pretty strict when it comes to girls serving a mission while struggling with an eating disorder because they have seen the negative effects the pressures of mission life can have on someone. So going on my mission I felt completely confident that I would be able to remain healthy both mentally and physically. However, I didn't realize that the reason I had been doing so well with my eating disorder was because I found other coping mechanisms- which  I quickly found out I was not able to use and still be obedient to the daily missionary routine. Well long story short, I found myself battling my eating disorder once again on my mission. For most of it, I didn't tell a single soul because I did not want to burden anyone with my own problems. I was a missionary and I was out there to serve OTHERS, not to receive service. I did tell my parents, though, and they were a great source of support as I went through it. About 11 months into my mission it became apparent that no matter how hard I tried, my problem kept getting worse. So my mom suggested that I talk to my mission president about getting some counseling. President Bernhisel was very loving and understanding when I told him about my struggle, but he was also very stern and told me that if this is something that doesn't get better I will have to go home. Terrified, I did everything I could to stay on my mission but by that point I realized that physically my body could not handle it. The plan was for me to go home and get better physically so that I could function as a missionary, and then to come back out and finish my last 6 months. When I got home, I was admitted to an eating disorder recover clinic and pretty much spent all day, ever day, there for the first couple of months. It quickly became apparent that this was not going to be something that I could recover from in a few weeks and it became more of a reality for me that I was home from my mission for good. I talked to a few of my Priesthood leaders and they all advised me to focus on recovery and to move on in the direction of my life.
My Life:
So that's where I'm at right now. I am still working on recovery and seeing doctors here in Utah while I work and prepare to go to BYU in the fall. All together it has been incredibly hard on me emotionally because I miss my mission so much and feel like I let a lot of people down. But I have seen everything fall into place so perfectly (everything from being able to get into the clinic to being admitted and receiving a scholarship to BYU after the admission deadline) and I just KNOW that Heavenly Father knew this was all going to happen and He has a plan for me. I am enjoying being with my family again and being at BYU has really helped me get into the social life again. I've been able to be home for my brother's graduation from BYUI, the birth of 2 nieces, my nephew's baptism, and the birth of a best friend's first baby. I'll include pictures of all of that at the end :)
My Testimony:
I have learned so much about the Atonement and the love of my Savior over these last few months. No one is perfect, even missionaries despite our best efforts are not perfect, and that is why we need a Savior. I am so grateful that Jesus Christ was willing to come to earth and suffer for MY pains, sicknesses, and afflictions. Because of that suffering, I know that I am not alone in this trial and I know that with His help, I can receive the strength I need to overcome this. My heart has also been opened to those who struggle with addiction, depression, and other physical ailments. I have been blessed to continue to share the gospel with other girls at the clinic and with a lot of friends who have opened up about their struggles as I have been honest about mine. I believe that we go through trials in life so that we can help others do the same. Just as Christ had to suffer the pains of the world so that he could know exactly how to succor us in our time of need. My knowledge of Heavenly Father and His love for me has deepened as well as I have seen His hand in my life and felt of His infinite, forgiving, love. Going to the temple, receiving priesthood blessings, and reading the Book of Mormon has helped to heal my heart and my mind in this process. I know that there is no way those things could have such a tremendous impact if The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was not the restored church of Jesus Christ on the earth today- preparatory to the Second Coming of Christ.

I am SO grateful for the countless blessings the Church and the Gospel has brought to my life.

In summary, I just want to say that the point of me writing this was not to receive pity or attention. I just want to be able to be honest with all of you that I love so much and let y'all know how I'm REALLY doing. I also want those of you who may be struggling with something like this, to realize that it is okay! Weaknesses are not something to be ashamed of, they are something to be grateful for!!
Ether 12:27 is one of my favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon. It says:
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
God gives us weaknesses because He loves us. My plead is that we all be more understanding of each other's weaknesses and realize that no one is perfect. Just like from the words of John 13:34 "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." 

Family trip to Lagoon

My siblings

Hiking with my best friend and her family

My nephew Ryan before his baptism

My niece Sarah on her blessing day

My friends little girl Molly

Mission Friends

You can take the missionary out of the mission but you can't take the mission out of the missionary

Hey Everyone!! Here it is.... the blog post. I'm sorry for all of the freak outs and questions and concerns I have not been able to address since getting home on Tuesday. I find it so much easier to just make mass announcements instead of explaining something over and over and over again. So here it is.... how am I doing??

To be honest. Not so great right now. I fee like my whole life has flipped upside down within a week and on top of that I have been dealing with feeling almost constantly sick. But here is what I'm learning from this whole experience and here is what we are doing so that I can get better and get back on my mission :)

My medical issues....
I think if I were to sum it all up- I have gastrointestinal issues. For some reason my stomach enzymes have quit working which leaves me feeling very nauseous if I eat anything. Or even when I haven't eaten anything I will have random spurts of extreme stomach pain. And I'm also dealing with some bad dizzy spells. Not sure if those are related. This isn't really anything super new to me. I dealt with Gastritis (inflammation of the stomach lining) a few years in high school and I have always had a sensitive stomach since. Its especially hard for me to eat gluten and dairy.... well its hard for me to eat much of anything right now.... but anyways! We are finding that the actual physical ailments are just a manifestation of anxiety... which was naturally heightened on my mission from the daily stresses of missionary life. My wonderful mission president and his wife were so supportive and willing to work with me and help me in any way possible so that I could stay on my mission (what I wanted more than anything). So I started the doctors appointments and got on an anxiety medication to hopefully help and President Bernhisel was more than willing to find me gastroenterologists in the area to help me physically. But instead of decreasing the stress on my body, I think being sick and trying to take some time for me to get better and go see doctors just amplified my stress because I kept worrying about not getting the work done that needed to be done and taking my companion out of the work. Through a lot of prayer and studying I came to the decision that it was right for me to come home to get help. I realized that I only had 6 months left of this mission that I so dearly love and I didn't want to spend that time going to doctors appointments and resting up. I want to spend those 6 months serving the Lord with EVERYTHING I have. And I felt really led to the decision that I needed to go home and focus 100% on taking care of myself so that I can go back soon and focus 100% on serving the Lord and His children. So on Thursday (yes just one week ago today) I expressed these feelings to President Bernhisel- fully expecting that I would still at least be able to finish out the transfer. But he felt that it was necessary to send my directly home and not wait on me getting medical attention. And so through a crazy swing of events I quickly said goodbye and came home... less than a week later.

I think having my mission taken from me so quickly was the hardest part. I have never loved anything like I love being a missionary. I love the satisfaction it brings. I love how close I feel to the Lord. I love the love that I feel for those I serve. I love sharing the incredible news of the restored church of Jesus Christ with anyone that will talk to me. But at the same time, I feel an immense amount of peace that I am now in the right place at the right time. Even in the past couple of days I have felt my body start to deteriorate more quickly and it is comforting to have the love and help of family and parents that are bound and determined to help me get the best medical care I can possible get. It has also been nice to not have to have the stress of feeling like I am in someway failing because I have to cancel appointments or take breaks because I'm not feeling well. I also feel that for whatever reason this is something I need to go through and there are lessons for me to be learned in this experience that are for some reason more important than me being a full time missionary (for now).

Here are some things I have learned through this So far....
1. I have learned how much Heavenly Father loves me. I always feel that others are more important than myself and as a missionary I felt a great love for others and a desire to help Heavenly Father's children but I never really consciously counted myself apart of that group. But I am... I am a daughter of Heavenly Father and He wants His children in North Carolina to be taken care of and loved...but He also wants ME to be taken care of and loved.
2. I have learned that Heavenly Father's timing is perfect and that it is no coincidence that I am home at the time that I am home.
3. Through experiences in my past I have learned that I can't question God. He is truly perfect and all knowing and there are times where it may seem like He is taking away what we love and care about most. I think during these times we always wonder "why? why is this happening to me right now?" But I have seen it in other experiences in my life that have strengthened my faith in the fact that when Heavenly Father takes something away from us, it is only because He loves us and has something better in mind. He is perfect. His plan is perfect. Its hard to have faith in the unknown.... but that's exactly what faith is. In the Book of Mormon in Alma 32 verse 21 it says "And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." Well that's exactly what I am doing. I have hope that there is a reason for all of this and faith that the Savior will be beside to help me through this and help me get better.

So there's my life in a nutshell right now. Physically my parents and I are very confident in the doctors and medical routes we have looked into and are now just waiting for more knowledge so that we can choose where we want to go from here. And for now I am happy to be surrounded by such a great support network but I am ANXIOUSLY waiting until I get to strap on that name tag and be Sister Spiel again :)

Saying Goodbyes...

Saying Hellos....

I Have a Heavenly Father

I know this blogpost is way overdue! Things have been wonderfully busy in the life of Sister Spiel lately. Every day I wake up SO happy to be a missionary. I feel so blessed to be where I am and for every day I get to teach others about Jesus Christ and how they can come closer to Him and their Heavenly Father. One thing that is really interesting about being a missionary, particularly a missionary in the Bible Belt, is teaching others about the restored truth concerning the nature of God. Just a minute ago we were having lunch with a wonderful lady from our ward and we struck up a conversation with our waitress about some of our beliefs as Latter-day Saints. She asked us if we considered ourselves "Christian" and we told her that we whole-heartedly consider ourselves Christian. We know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. It is through His Atonement and sacrifice that we can be forgiven of our sins and saved. (I am SO grateful for this knowledge!!) After explaining this, we continued on to explain that we do, however, believe that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father are separate beings.... which is where there seems to be some controversy. Words cannot describe how amazing it is to help someone realize, for the first time, that not only do they have a Savior but that they are also a Child of God and that they have a Heavenly Father who is aware of them, loves them, listens to them, and wants more than anything for them to return to His presence!!!

 

My dad and my sister

Skiing with my Papa

 So what does this mean to me and why 

does it matter??? Well for me I believe it brings so much clarity and strengthens my relationship with my Savior, Eldest Brother, and Redeemer Jesus Christ, as well as my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Putting it into perspective, I have an earthly father. He is wonderful! My dad is truly the best man I have ever met. I feel like I can confide in him my deepest joys and sorrows and I know that he will listen to me, pray for me, and help me because I am his daughter and he loves me. I know that although I make mistakes, my Dad will always be there for me. I don't know what I would do without my Daddy. Similarly, we have a Heavenly Father. (Personally- I have a Heavenly Father.) He loves me. He knows me better than I know myself. He knew me before I came to earth and He is aware of me now- my struggles, pain, joys, dreams- and because of this, He knows my potential. My Heavenly Father knows who I can become and He is constantly aware of what I need to reach my full potential. It is because I know this that I feel like I can go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and truly talk to Him and share my joys and sorrow. I know that I can trust in Him and in His plan for me. I know that no matter what I have done, no matter where I am, HE LOVES ME and will be there to guide, strengthen, protect, and bless me. KNOWING THIS MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD. Knowing that I am a Daughter of God helps give me purpose in life and strength in the midst of trials. Just as knowing that my earthly father will always be there for me brings me happiness and a great deal of comfort- knowing my Heavenly Father will always be there for me does the same thing :)

For more information- I love this definition given from LDS.org about our beliefs of the Godhead.

"The Church's first article of faith states, “We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.” These three beings make up the Godhead. They preside over this world and all other creations of our Father in Heaven.
The Mormon view of the members of the Godhead corresponds in a number of ways with the views of others in the Christian world, but with significant differences. Latter-day Saints pray to God the Father in the name of Jesus Christ. They acknowledge the Father as the ultimate object of their worship, the Son as Lord and Redeemer, and the Holy Spirit as the messenger and revealer of the Father and the Son. But where Latter-day Saints differ from other Christian religions is in their belief that God and Jesus Christ are glorified, physical beings and that each member of the Godhead is a separate being....Although the members of the Godhead are distinct beings with distinct roles, they are one in purpose and doctrine. They are perfectly united in bringing to pass Heavenly Father's divine plan of salvation."

Scripture References

Matthew 3:13-17

John 14:6-10; 17:6-23

Acts 7:55-56

2 Nephi 31:18

Mormon 7:5-7

Death- Where is Thy Victory?

Today marks 10 years since my wonderful Aunt Lana passed away after a valiant fight with Breast Cancer- leaving behind a wonderful, faithful husband and 9 small children. I vividly remember hearing of her passing and making the drive on icy roads to her funeral. It was my first experience with death that I can remember and, although I was young, I still remember having questions about why a loving God would take such a wonderful woman from her family and I'm sure I even had some doubts on whether or not we would all see her again. I contemplated all of these things in silence during that 5 hour car ride. 

My next memory of that weekend comes from sitting in the chapel at her funeral service...laughing. I think my Uncle Kelly had cracked a small joke and everyone chuckled. I remember being shocked that despite all that had happened, people could actually take a moment and laugh a little. It was then that I had the distinct prompting that my Aunt Lana was there, finally eased of all of her pain, aware of all that was happening, and happy to see her family and friends smiling. I have never questioned for a second after that whether or not there is life after death of the ability to see our loved ones again. Her family shares that same knowledge which I know has been instrumental in helping them make it through such a hard time. They have been an incredible example to me as they have taken this trial and grown closer to each other and to the Savior through the process. 

This same knowledge helped my family pull through once again when I lost three of my cousins in a tragic car accident a few years after Aunt Lana's passing. And it was a great blessing to me when my dear Grandma Ray passed away a few months after I started my mission. Both times brought inevitable heart ache, but that heart ache was replaced with a great sense of peace in knowing that because of the Savior, His sacrifice, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I will get to be reunited with those that I love someday. 

On mormon.org I found a great description about Heavenly Father's plan for us and how death plays a role in that plan. 

"Our physical death isn’t the end, but rather is a step forward in Heavenly Father’s plan and a time of indescribable joy for the person making the transition.

When you’re the one left behind—the one losing a friend or loved one—the pain of that loss is very real. But there’s a lot of comfort in knowing you’ll see him or her again. And because of Christ’s death, at some point our spirit and body will be reunited (resurrected) and made perfect never to be separated again. "

The scriptures teach us that because of our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, we don't have to worry about death being the end- but rather we can look at it as being the beginning of the rest of eternity. 

I love how Alma puts it:

 "And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." (Alma 7:12)

What wonderful knowledge, peace, and comfort this Gospel brings. 

Because He died- All shall live again!

I know that this is true. I'm so grateful I will get to see my Aunt Lana, my dear cousins, and my wonderful Grandma again someday. If you have questions or concerns about this, please feel free to message me or meet with local missionaries. We are here to teach and share this message with you! It will change your life and help you to feel this same peace and comfort that I and my family continue to feel 10 years later...

A Christmas Miracle.... in November

Ether 12:12: “For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith.” 

Today's blog post is about the miracle that happened in our area last month. One of those kinds of experiences where you can look back on it and KNOW (not just think but know) that Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers.

It all kind of started at the beginning of this transfer when Sister Mayfield and I decided to set a goal for a "White Christmas". On a mission, a White Christmas is one where you have a baptism around Christmas time. I remember hearing about my older brothers setting goals to have a White Christmas on their mission and I always thought it was the neatest thing. So, seeing that I only have one Christmas as a missionary, I knew just what I wanted to do. Together Sister Mayfield and I decided to work extra hard, be extra obedient, and muster every bit of faith that we could manage in order to see a baptism in our area within the transfer.

The 1st week of the transfer we got out of an appointment and saw that we had a missed call and a voicemail from Keenan. Instantly we knew this was special because, let's be honest, lots of people say they will call us but I've never seen it actually happen. We called him back and set up an appointment for that week! Our first lesson with him (in Quiznos no less) was such a great experience. Sister Mayfield and I were so impressed with Keenan's willing heart and faith even though we were teaching things that were very foreign to him. He kind of gave us blank stares when we talked with him about Joseph Smith's first vision and the Book of Mormon but he saw that we believed it and was willing to accept our testimony as it was and agreed to meet again. And as an extra demonstration of his great faith, he asked to come to church before we even could! From that point on, miracle after miracle just started happening. He came to church, hit it off with a few medical students in our ward and their families, and continued to learn and progress. His faith and willingness to embrace the gospel, helped ME to develop greater faith. I felt a little chastised at times for times in life and on my mission that I have lacked such faith. Helping Keenan progress towards baptism was probably the great thing I've ever gotten to do. Actually, Sister Mayfield and I didn't feel like we did much at all! It was clear that every step of the way, Heavenly Father was helping us and helping Keenan. When we met with him and asked him when he would like to be baptized, we were thrilled at his decision to move forward with complete faith and trust in the Lord and be baptized on November 30th.

But that's not the end of the story...

The day after we set Keenan's baptismal date, we got a call from one of his dear friends that introduced him to the gospel and the missionary (planting the seed) way back in 2009. She lives in another ward in our mission and she had an incredible story of her own. Apparently, when the Elders in her ward went over for dinner during the beginning of the month, they asked her family what they wanted to do as a family to "hasten the work". They decided to fast every Sunday that month and pray earnestly so that "someone they love" could be baptized by the end of the month! She said that the first email she got from Keenan telling her he was meeting with missionaries came the week after their first fast. Next Sunday, they fast again.... and they get another email from Keenan telling them that he is still continuing to meet with us and enjoying all that he is learning which put them all in shock and helped them to see that a miracle truly is happening. Third Sunday, they get another letter from Keenan- this time, it is him announcing that he will be baptized on November 30th... the LAST day of the month.

As Sister Mayfield and I sat and listened to Jazzy's incredible story, we both felt such an overwhelming sense of God's love for His children and His desire to answer prayers and perform miracles according to their faith. It was an answer to prayers for all of us. Sister Mayfield and I with our desire to bring someone to Christ this Christmas season, the Reece family and their desire to help hasten the work and bring the Gospel to those they love, and Keenan's desire to find guidance and happiness in his life.

 It was such a blessing to be apart of this Christmas Miracle :)

Today's a 1 Nephi chapter 2 kind of day....

Lesson #1 from the Book of Mormon


Today when I restarted the Book of Mormon, I decided to find an applicable lesson for my own life every time I read. I will mostly be focusing on actions- things I can DO (or stop doing) in order to better myself. A couple of things entered my mind today. The first idea comes from 1 Nephi 2:12. When talking about Nephi’s family leaving their home he said that Laman and Lemuel murmured because “they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them.” Interesting that this is the one reason Nephi gave for their complaint. It wasn’t "Laman and Lemuel are upset because they had to leave all their possessions and friends and home" But instead it was because "they didn’t have faith God was going to help things work out in a way that would benefit them."

I think of times when I am angry or upset and I guess there are a lot of reasons for it, but mainly it is just because I lack faith. I, like Laman and Lemuel may not understand the dealings of God. Ironically, when I look back on it, God has never failed me. Ever. Every experience has been so perfect for me. They haven’t all been pleasant, but they have helped me to become the person I am now. Specifically, right now as a missionary I have my own personal doubts in my ability to share the gospel and bring others to the knowledge of this wonderful, life-saving and life-changing truth. I sometimes catch myself worrying that I'm not measuring up to my potential as a missionary and representative of Jesus Christ...

But as I pray and study the scriptures, and try to use faith I realize that these fears are ridiculous, really. Why? Because they exclude 2 really important things:
#1 If these scenarios were to become reality, it would be due to lack of action on my part. I can make the situation what I want it to be instead of falling victim to the circumstance. And I know that the Lord has promised that He will "qualify those He calls" and "make our weaknesses become strengths" if we are humble and apply the Atonement in our life. I am doing everything I know to do and so I can have absolute confidence that He will not let me fail.
#2 When I have these fearful thoughts running through my head, I don’t stop to think about how Heavenly Father wanted me here and so He will always be with me to help me through it. I need to trust in His love and goodness and ability to give the most perfect tender mercies. Fears come from being very narrow minded… which leads me to my second thought of the day....
 Nephi mentions that Laman and Lemuel are being ‘stiff-necked’. I’ve read that word a million times but this time when I read it, it sounded funny. What is stiff-neckedness? I thought back to a time when I had whiplash and my neck was so sore I couldn’t turn it. I felt limited in what I could do because I could only see straight forward. Driving was the worst because it was hard to see what was going on around me. So (in my limited experience) I would say that stiff-neckedness is the inability to see the big picture. You are only focused on what is going on right then, right in front of you and nothing else matters. For Laman and Lemuel, they were probably focused on how sad they were to leave their home and friends (understandable). And, as a reader, I can imagine how Lehi taking his family away from everything that they own and telling them to camp out in the desert for years on end would seem completely ridiculous. That is, if Nephi didn’t explain the rest of the story... Lehi had been warned by God that Jerusalem would be destroyed and commanded them to leave for their protection. Ahaa… there it is. The bigger picture. 

Suddenly it doesn’t become this awful goodbye to everything you own but a “thank you Heavenly Father for protecting me and my family from all the dangers back there.” Often we are bitter or afraid because we don’t turn to look around and see the big picture.The 'big picture' that helps us to see that Heavenly Father does not ask us to do anything to make us unhappy but rather everything He does, everything that happens, is because He loves us and wants so badly for us to return to live with Him again. If we would just exercise a little faith and open ourselves up to see the bigger picture, we would be able to see Heavenly Father’s purpose and plan for us and how he is always there to help guide us through this life. I can’t think of anything better than knowing that you have a Heavenly Father right beside you, protecting and guiding you every step of the way. SO- Lesson #1:
Believe in the dealings of God and take time to see the big picture... and if you can't see the big picture- just have faith that there IS ONE. There is always one. Let us never forget Who is in charge and just HOW MUCH He loves ALL of His children.

I think this explains my 'stiff-necked' theory well...

What I think about the Book of Mormon...

I just finished reading the Book of Mormon again. I don't know how many times I have read it... maybe 20 or so times.. but every time I read it, I learn something new! And every time I finish it, I have a mixed feeling of sadness (as you would when any good book ends) and great excitement to restart and read it once again. I love the stories. Just as I can't imagine not knowing about Jonah and the whale, Noah's ark, Daniel in the lion's den, and David that slew Goliath- I can't imagine not knowing about Ammon cutting off the arms of the Lamanites and converting an entire community, the 2000 Stripling Warrior's lives being spared because of their great faith, and Lehi and Nephi walking out of a crumbling prison completely unscathed. The Book of Mormon is filled with miraculous, faith-promoting, heart touching stories. I wonder how Lehi could have so much faith to leave his home in Jerusalem and everything he owns and take his family to journey across the ocean to the Americas. I feel like I'm at General Conference when I read about the beloved King Benjamin addressing his people right before his death. I reevaluate my personal commitment to stand up for my beliefs and share the gospel as I read about Abinidi being burned at the stake for his unwavering testimony. I feel hope that I will be able to change my life for the better and become more Christlike as I read  about the sons of Mosiah who went from being the vilest of sinners to some of the most faithful, diligent, and patient  missionaries this world has ever known. I am comforted at times when people reject and criticize my beliefs when I read about Alma and Amulek withstanding accusing judges and cynical lawyers. And my heart is pointed towards Christ and His Second Coming as I read about the sign of Christ's birth birth being fulfilled right before all the believers were to be killed, and the great storm and darkness at His death...followed by the most beautiful account of His 3 day visit to the Americas after His resurrection. My heart breaks as I read about the tragic destruction of the Nephite and Lamanite civilizations 400 years after His coming- Mormon and his faithful son Moroni being left to write the sad ending and seal up the record so that Joseph Smith can be led to translate them 1400 years later. All of these stories- all of these faithful prophets and missionaries- I can't imagine not having. They are just as precious to me as the story of Esther going before the king for the sake of her people, Job still holding on to his faith even after losing everything, and of course, the miraculous stories of Jesus Christ in the New Testament... His teachings, miracles, love and infinite sacrifice for ALL. I know that the Book of Mormon is the Word of God just as surely as I know the Bible is. How do I know this with such a sure conviction? In a General Conference talk given by Tad R. Callister a couple of years ago he said:

"Years ago my great-great-grandfather picked up a copy of the Book of Mormon for the first time. He opened it to the center and read a few pages. He then declared, “That book was either written by God or the devil, and I am going to find out who wrote it.” He read it through twice in the next 10 days and then declared, “The devil could not have written it—it must be from God.That is the genius of the Book of Mormon—there is no middle ground. It is either the word of God as professed, or it is a total fraud. This book does not merely claim to be a moral treatise or theological commentary or collection of insightful writings. It claims to be the word of God—every sentence, every verse, every page. Joseph Smith declared that an angel of God directed him to gold plates, which contained the writings of prophets in ancient America, and that he translated those plates by divine powers. If that story is true, then the Book of Mormon is holy scripture, just as it professes to be; if not, it is a sophisticated but, nonetheless, diabolical hoax."

I know how much closer I feel to my Savior when I read it and I know how much happier, grateful, humble, and charitable it makes me. Therefore- I know that is is a book inspired by God. For the devil could not and would not have inspired such a book. It is one of my greatest blessings in my life- it has changed my life- and it can change anyone's life for the better if they ask with a sincere and honest heart. At the end of the Book of Mormon, Moroni pleads with everyone saying:

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

 5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. (Moroni 10:4-5)


As a missionary, a representative of the Lord, Jesus Christ, and as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I give this same pleading because I have read it, I have pondered it, I have prayed about it, and I know that the things written in it are true. So... 

Why does this even matter??

President Hinckley encouraged us to read the Book of Mormon to lift us above the things of the world, to enjoy the things of the Lord. He said, “Without reservation I promise you that if each of you will observe this simple program, regardless of how many times you previously may have read the Book of Mormon, there will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God” (Ensign, Aug. 2005.).

And these blessings are far more valuable than any material possession... It is the closest thing to a cure-all that we have in this world.